Sometimes I dream of becoming the nomad, indepedent, minimalist. I envision a life with very little to weigh me down, a circle of virtual friends, and quiet. Thoughts of working from home as a writer and being somewhat invisible to most of the world entice me always. The extreme minimalism lifestyle calls to me not because I am running from anything but because I enjoy the quiet and simple life. That extreme idea of minimalism is appealing to me and yet I choose to be entangled.
Entangled joyfully with a family that does not embrace my minimalism. They all seem to want more, more, more as if it is a measure of self-worth. You might think I am judgemental and yet I peacefully watch and wonder if that moment will arrive that understanding dawns. At times my husband goes along with me if for no other reason than to save some precious finances and to keep the peace. The time is coming to take that leap and buy a house. It horrifies me. I know that he and I have much different ideas about dwellings and what we truly need. I also have faith that it will all work out. My reaction is to want to get rid of more material things.
I think about the differences in my attitude, comparing middle age to my youth. My first marriage I wanted everything my way and looking back I acted like a spoiled brat at times. Misery and selfishness finally won out and we parted ways. The age of experience has taught me the value of a partnership and giving rather than self preservation obsessions. Even as I have hesitations here and there, even as I sometimes long for the single life as a minimalist, I circle right back to the joy of entanglement. Having a partner to share the joys and tears, the accomplishments and failures, and the everyday ho-hum times is still the best time of my life. I wouldn’t trade the experience ever.
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