Stairway (Photo credit: Kaneda71)
Moving cross country to a whole new life has quickly helped me to let things go. The questions in your head become simple.
Do I really need this?
Do I like it well enough to wrap it with care and carry it up a flight of stairs?
Will it have a place in my home?
Is it broken or worn out?
Is the sentimental value worth keeping it?
Will I miss it?
Then I took it a step further and examined the relationships that I am leaving behind. Moving away has prompted me to think about how I am going to continue those friendships that I have established over the years. We often have a mindset that once we meet someone and establish a friendship or relationship with them, we should continue that no matter what happens. I don’t have that traditional opinion. My belief is that relationships are transitional. People come into our lives with a purpose to teach us a lesson of some sort, help us grow spiritually, or to help us get through a stage of our own transitions. Some stay in our lives for a very long time. Some transition with us and keep their purpose even though it may evolve. Others will fade from our lives. Those relationships that have become stagnant, that are painfully hard to keep going with, that are no longer comfortable or complimentary to our lives, are the ones that we can let go of and move on. Maybe you don’t call or get together as often at first. Once you get together it is awkward and you can’t wait to get away.
Questions to ask yourself about your current relationships:
Do I need this?
Does it have a place in my life?
Is it healthy?
Does it serve a purpose?
Does it feel natural or comfortable?
Do I want to keep this person around or do I wish they would fade?
Is this person cruel to me?
Why do I have this relationship?
When I think about allowing some relationships to fade, I don’t find that I have a feeling of unease about letting go. I find that it feels natural to let things go their course and not to fight it without reason. No two are ever the same. If we find that we do want to continue the relationship we need to make the effort and invest time into it in order to make it healthy and happy.
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When we moved from our home state to the place where we are now, we took a leap of faith and went forward. We tried in the beginning to stay connected, then realized that friendships are transitional and that it was ok to just let go. Thank you for sharing this with me today. It was a true affirmation! mb
Thank you for sharing your comment about your own experience. It is a leap of faith. I find this different than abandoning someone. Allowing friendships to fade doesn’t have to be a bad experience. It can actually feel like a weight has been lifted. Isn’t is interesting how many of us can have similar experiences?
Yes it is. It is good to know this, so we are not weighted down with guilt, when we know it needs to be done. Thank you so much for writing and sharing. mb
I just wrote about the same! The word I used was “season.” Some people stay with us for the duration; others only for a time…we are meant to move on and see what (and who) is ahead of us!!
I enjoyed your post Time for Everything. That’s exactly what I had in mind when I was writing. Thank you for reading and writing!
Thanks and you too!
Reblogged this on Simon Sundaraj-Keun.
Thank you!
I was using facebook to keep in touch with old friends, but my friendships on facebook seemed so meaningless and fake. So I made the decision to delete my facebook. Hanging on to past friendships made me feel like I was hanging on to the past. Since letting go, I am more open to new friendships and what they bring into my life.