There are things in our lives that are important. We find comfort in having a safe home no matter the dimension or worth. Surrounding ourselves with people that we love and that love us in return is held in high esteem. Our chosen work becomes important for different reasons. Some are ambitious and have a monetary or specific career goal in mind. Others find it important to just do mindful or compassionate work. Some want to make a difference in the world. Families are important to some but it’s a tangled web for others. Dynamics are sometimes complicated and the stereotypical family of the 1950′s doesn’t happen very often anymore, if it ever really did. To some of us our creative spirit is important and we want the world to enjoy our art and appreciate the work that has gone into it. Religion becomes more important especially as some grow older and contemplate the end of life. However our bucket lists rarely list our spiritual aspirations first. They usually consist of travel, new experiences, or an achievement in the world. What is important? What should be important?
In our enthusiasm for life we want others to recognize what we value. We want them to value it too. If the ones we love don’t see our love of art or our favorite book as important we get frustrated. A story about a conversation with my daughter returns to me. One day my adult daughter was visiting me in my home. As I was getting ready to go out with her she noticed a pair of ornate seals on my dressing table. She commented on how disgusting they looked. I couldn’t deny it for they were supposed to look like a miniature version of a real seal and they were over 40 years old. I agreed with my daughter on their ugliness. She laughed and asked why I kept them. My reply was that they had been my mother’s and my father had brought them from Norway for her when he was in the service. They were sentimental to her. When she died they were one of numerous things I kept to remember her. As my daughter sighed I will never forget what she said to me, “Mom, just because they meant something to her doesn’t mean that they are important to you.” It was a changing moment in my life. I realized that the things that are important to me don’t hold the value to someone else. Everyone is different regardless of relationship, gender, location, and lifestyle. Some may have similar interests but everyone holds different things dear. Value is relative. That moment taught me that doing what the crowd was doing wasn’t for me. To keep things around that someone else values or the world values because of fashion or trend or marketing doesn’t make it important to me. That short conversation made me look at my home and my life. It challenged me to live a more authentic life and find what mattered-to me.
The important things aren’t a list that one can post and tell people what to do or think. What fills your spirit and makes you smile and sing are what is important. Importance is relative.
In that moment I learned to allow those that I love to embrace what is important to them, to encourage them even if I don’t understand the value, to find the things of my own that are important and let the rest go.
- Not My Obituary (bikecolleenbrown.wordpress.com)
- Carry on Tuesday: Where there is love there is life (hibernationnow.wordpress.com)
- Let’s Plant a Beautiful Garden~Building Self-Esteem (paintedmacaroni.wordpress.com)
- Life of Mi (wisdomasigo.wordpress.com)